Sober Dating is Changing the Dating App Scene for Millennials and Gen Z
It’s the quintessential first date text: “Let’s meet for drinks.” But what happens when you don’t drink? What do you do then?
The dilemma is common enough that there’s been a movement to change that norm and offer a space for specifically sober dating. As more Gen Z-ers and millennials embrace sober or sober curious lifestyles, a push to meet people without the influence of alcohol has grown louder.
How Club Pillar is Leading the Way
Jessie Urvater’s personal experience with a former relationship led her to found Club Pillar, a dating app specifically designed for sober dating. Launched just eight months ago, Urvater shared her struggles dating an alcoholic that ultimately drove her to create a platform dedicated to meaningful connections for the sober community.
“There are over 1,500 dating apps in the market, yet there’s a glaring gap for a reliable, trustworthy platform dedicated to helping sober and sober-curious individuals find meaningful connections,” Urvater explained.
Users of traditional dating apps often experience the same frustrating pattern. Conversations might start well, but they inevitably end with, “Let’s get a drink this week.” If you say you don’t drink, the responses vary from curiosity to outright disinterest, which is where sober-specific apps like Club Pillar can make a difference.
“Drinking environments are still triggering,” Urvater said. “The people across the table are often uncomfortable navigating a night without booze. Modern dating is enough of a minefield without having to treat your sobriety like an obstacle.”
Riding the Sober Curious Wave
Club Pillar isn’t just another dating app; it’s capitalizing on a larger movement: the rise of the sober curious. This trend sees individuals, particularly Gen Z and millennials, choosing to cut back or eliminate alcohol to prioritize their health and well-being.
“This generation seems to be more health-conscious than previous generations, prioritizing longevity,” Urvater noted. “We have more information now than we did in the past about the effects of alcohol and drugs and how they impact our mental health.”
This shift is supported by experts like Bryan Driscoll, an HR consultant and generational expert. “They have grown up in a time of greater transparency about mental health issues and substance abuse, and they seem more willing to question societal norms,” Driscoll said.
How Club Pillar Works
Club Pillar welcomes both the sober and sober curious for any reason, whether it’s health-related or due to being in recovery. It stands out as a members-only, vetted community, making it the first of its kind in the sober dating space. This ensures a safe and trustworthy environment, where authenticity in interactions is a primary focus.
The app also extends beyond digital matches by encouraging real-life interactions through various events available with a higher subscription tier. This blend of online matching with offline events aligns with the larger health-conscious trend among younger users.
Challenges Faced by Big Dating Apps
The rise of sober dating isn’t happening in isolation. Traditional dating apps like Bumble and Tinder have faced criticism and financial struggles. Earlier this year, Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe stepped down, and Match Group, which owns Tinder, Hinge, and Match.com, reported lower-than-expected earnings.
Many millennials and Gen Z users feel these apps are built to keep them single and continuously swiping. Men often complain about the lack of matches, while women face overwhelming interactions of low quality.
Urvater believes that “there are so many options available, and as a result, people are matching, but they are never actually meeting, leading to dating app churn, low self-confidence, and disinterest.”
Club Pillar aims to counter this trend by limiting swipes to five to ten a day, offering more incentive to actually talk and meet up with matches. It focuses exclusively on sober individuals, offering a stigma-free experience.
A Shift Towards Meaningful Connections
Sober dating promotes authenticity, going beyond the typical connections over cocktails. “Sober dating fosters an authenticity beyond connecting over cocktails,” Driscoll emphasized. “It challenges the narrative that consumption equals happiness. Instead, being sober or mostly sober promotes a more sustainable and self-aware approach to relationships and social interactions.”
As millennials and Gen Z continue to embrace healthier lifestyles, platforms like Club Pillar become not just an option, but a necessity in the ever-evolving dating landscape. It provides a space where like-minded individuals can connect without the pressures and assumptions that come with alcohol.